so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
