This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
