Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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