I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize