I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
