i dont even know how to be here
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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