i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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