So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
