yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
