Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize