Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
