we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
