But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
