You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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