O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize