i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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