Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
a search helicopter?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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