i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
