the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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