Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pappa wants mamma naked
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
