i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
