Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
