there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Actions speak louder than pants.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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