Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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