remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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