so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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