I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
