The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize