As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
