Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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