happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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