I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize