i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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