Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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