Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
