in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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