I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The air taste purple.
Randomize
