I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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