Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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