you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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