But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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