You're completely useless in the revolution.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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