Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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