In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
