What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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