and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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