I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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