I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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