He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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