Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Be still, my beating vagina.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
