I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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