now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
