Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
