We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
