ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
