So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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