You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
