You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
