like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
