what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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